10/30/11 - Our First Two Months Home

I am so sorry for not getting the last 2 days of our trip posted until now. Our first 2 months home has been a whirlwind of adjustment and activity. From pediatrician visits, lab tests, pediatric ophthalmologist visits, and retinal scans. To completing various kinds of paperwork for health insurance, SS card, MO birth certificate, and other items. We are happy to report that Jacob is a perfectly healthy 2 year old. They had done the ultrasound with the retinal specialist to rule out any tumors behind his eye that we might need to be concerned about. Praise God there weren’t any.
Having a new member in our family is a joyful experience, but has been and continues to be a big adjustment for all of us, even our dog Lucy. I know it must be difficult for Jacob to be taken from all he has known his whole life and the only people he has loved to live with a “momma and baba” he doesn’t know that well, and to a totally different environment from what he is used to. There were a lot of temper tantrums and yelling (really squealing) in the beginning. Even more so than what is normal for a 2 year old. One of our friends told us that this could be his way of grieving since he didn’t really cry when his foster family left. I think this could very well be as boys tend to grieve differently than girls do on the whole. It also has to be frustrating for him as he can’t talk yet to tell us what he wants or what is bothering him. But, he is good about pointing to what he wants and communicates in that way. He is also still having issues sleeping all the way through the night without waking up and coming into our room. There more nights that he does this than not. He also has had some night terrors on occasion.
He did not care for Lucy at all in the beginning. He yelled at her each time she came near him. She didn’t understand why someone, especially a child, didn’t like her. I think she sort of got depressed because after awhile she would just go hide in another part of the room. This eventually passed though and now he loves on her, tries to ride her, and lies on top of her when she is lying on the floor. He even likes to put the food in her bowl and give her a treat when we leave to go somewhere. They are buddies now. He still lets her know about it when she gets in his way though, LOL.
I think the adjustment has been the most difficult for big sister Ellie. I know many times she just sees Jacob as an annoyance even though she loves him. She doesn’t understand why he has to follow her around all the time, get into her stuff, and play with her stuff while she is playing with it. She also doesn’t understand why he has to take up so much of mommy and daddy’s time. We have tried to reassure her that it is because he is 2 and all 2 year olds are very needy. And, he is also insecure and unsure about us still. But, there have still been many emotional breakdowns with tears because she feels like “we don’t love her anymore” or “don’t love her as much as Jacob.” Even with all the reassurances I’m sure she is still thinking “why does this newcomer have to come in and mess everything up?” This is evident in her attitudes sometimes when she just yells at Jacob.
By the grace of God we are slowly adjusting and it gets a little better every day. Most days Jacob is a silly little boy who likes to act goofy and entertain us. We have had many fun and joyful times for which we praise God. We also praise God for His sustaining grace to make it through the more difficult times. Next week we have our first post adoption visit with our social worker. In a couple of weeks Jacob is going to St. Luke’s to be put under anesthesia while they do a more extensive scan of his left cornea and behind the eye to see if there is any possible repairs that can be done to restore the sight in that eye. In the meantime the doctors have given him a pair of protective glasses to wear to protect his right eye and preserve his eyesight in it. To put it in his mom’s words “they are a cute blue pair of glasses that make him look quite handsome.” We have also had fun cheering on the St Louis Cardinals to the World Series Champs!!! Jacob loves the Cardinals. He can say Albert & Cardinals. He had lots of fun jumping up & down cheering during the games with Mommy & Ellie. Daddy doesn’t do much jumping only cheering. Mommy had a feeling we would win the World Series this year…we won in 2006 when we adopted Ellie & now have won in 2011 after adopting Jacob. Just a fun piece of trivia for our family.